by Chris Alarie
Many of you have been clamoring to know where
Uncanny Valley Magazine stands on this year's presidential election. Please allow this to serve as our official endorsement for the 2016 presidential election.
On the one hand, it would be easy to endorse Bernie Sanders, whose sane but dramatic, left wing agenda is probably the only plausible plan that any candidate has put forth that would stand even the remotest chance of preventing America from eating itself. There is, perhaps, something understandable in endorsing widely reluctantly accepted candidate Hillary Clinton, as she is almost certainly going to be the Democratic nominee and the final line of defense against President Donald Duck Trumpet. And, of course, our general, default stance on politics is
Vote 4 Doug. And we would be remiss if we did not point out that Ted Cruz still has not come right out and denied being the Zodiac Killer. But the uniquely bizarre tenor of this election, as well as the extent to which stakes that have been raised regarding the future of our country, we can truthfully only offer the following endorsement:
Voting is for Nerds.
Thank you and God bless the United States of America.
Chris Alarie is some stupid joke title affixed to Editor-in-Chief of Uncanny Valley Magazine.
When you meet some person with whom you have nothing to talk about, invariably you will talk about the weather. When you talk about the weather lately all anyone ever wants to talk about is El Nino—partly because the media is telling you that it is important and partly because no one knows what it is. Lucky for you on both counts that you clicked some anonymous link that someone has shared with you for this piece because I will now explain El Nino. And maybe that stranger will think you are cool and call you back and maybe someday you will tell your children about how you met their other parent because you read a super informative article on a blog that otherwise actively repulsed you because of its continued lack of editorial direction. 
