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Showing posts with label Marco Rubio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marco Rubio. Show all posts

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Doug Explains Why Marco Rubio is NOT a Robot

by Douglas Slayton

 

As we discussed last time, the run-up-to-the-election-deciding-pie-eating contest is getting very fierce. Names are being called, feelings are being hurt, and only one can leave with the rose. While the Democrats only have two real options (sorry Steven Spielberg), the Republicans have at least thirty six candidates—and very possibly exponentially more because new candidates keep bursting out of the chest of noted Hollywood actor Ronald Reagan like the popular 1979 sci-fi-horror film Alien, but with a healthy dose of xenophobia. In the upper echelon of these smiling, vacant eyed homunculi is Marco Rubio, just behind the rubber puppet that is Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, who is probably that neighbor you have who is really nice but is actually the Zodiac Killer.


Chief within the name calling amongst the contestants is the accusation that Marco Rubio is a robot; this could be not be further from the truth. This criticism likely comes from his steely complexion and and dry, angular handshake. While these are characteristics of robotism, they are nothing without the true underlying causes.


Robotism is a condition that is contracted at birth when people, instead of being birthed from cellular entanglement of two warm blooded humans who don’t really care for each other but due to their fear of their slowly approaching demise feel that having a fraction of their dna survive another thirty to one hundred and twenty years is preferable to happiness, are constructed from metal bits under sweatshop conditions in the South Pacific. So not much different from human birth, but different enough. Those who have robotism live very different lives than meat people: the aging process is quicker as every year they are simply re-equipped with whatever technological advancements may have been developed in the past twelve months. But those with robotism also live virtually forever. Meat people only live thirty to one hundred twenty years—no less no more.


There are many reasons we can speculate that Rubio has these row-boatian characteristics. He could have been infected with some kind techno virus, but this is unlikely as he never wears raver clothes and has yet to ever mention Jamiroquai in public. He could be one of the silver men: a cult who worship those with robotism as both spiritually and sexually superior to the meats. The silver men theory is popular because there have been instances noted where a silver spray-painted gentleman who resembles Rubio has jumped out of a fake bush scaring people at Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. This, we know, is a popular tradition for the silver men to cull meats from the robotians. Though the most likely explanation, according to my expertise, is that he may have been hit very hard in the head with a steel pipe, contracting wererobotism. Wererobotism is a very rare and serious disease wherein a meaty begins to think they are a robot, so they start eating only industrial metal shavings 1 and only move in jagged forty-five degree movements.2 Wererobotism—I am trying to say—is not a real thing; it is a thing robotists use as an excuse for when they start taking on those qualities.


The long and short of it is that Marco Rubio is not cool and should come out and apologize to the robot community rather than taking on robotist stereotypes in order to try and pander for their votes. Robots can’t vote anyway, but that is mostly because of claustrophobia.

Douglas Slayton is Professor Editor-in-Chief of Uncanny Valley Magazine.





1 A robotist notion suggests that robots only eat industrial metal shavings, but this is perpetuated by the fact that robots are systematically forced to live in industrial areas because of economic hardships due to years of oppression. Industrial metal shavings are heavily marketed in these areas at bodegas in with bullet proof glass around the counters.
2 This is another robotist notion because of a three year period from ‘79 to ‘82 where the popular joints for robots were clicking joints that would stop every forty five degrees creating the illusion of quick jerky motions

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Inequality and the Limits of America's Two-Party System

by Chris Alarie


Over the past several months, the American public and, perhaps more importantly, media have been deeply fascinated by the 2016 presidential election, despite the fact that we are a year away from election day and a few months out from even the earliest nominating contests. Some of that is a result of the necessities of the 24 hour news cycle, the horse-race-style1 coverage of elections that the media favors,2 and the particularly odd characters who populate the nominating contests. But another source of interest is the way that the battles for each party's nomination have put a spotlight on intra-party issues, particularly with regards to America's income and wealthy disparities.3 Both the Republican and Democratic parties are in the midst of battles as to how each party should best address the questions surrounding inequality. These intra-party debates illustrate one of the more pressing but under-discussed political problems in America: the way our two-party system is hurting the democratic process and preventing the government from properly addressing the economic concerns of the general public (in this case, the increasing divide between the super-wealthy and the rest of the country—a function of worsening income and wealth inequality as well as a lessening of economic mobility).

America is, for all intents and purposes, the only major democracy that has only two effective political parties. And the two parties are entrenched in such a manner that their respective areas of expected electoral control are, if not predestined, then highly predictable, at least. The Democrats have a distinct advantage in the electoral college, giving them an easier path to control over the electoral branch of the federal government. The Republicans have a stranglehold over much of the governments at the state level which, in turn, gives them a similarly overwhelming control of the House of Representatives. The only segment of the federal government that is currently a remotely open contest between the two parties is the Senate, depending on which seats are contested in each particular election. The manner in which these two parties are entrenched is a key facet of the worsening problems of inequality.

In a recently published Vox article, Lee Drutman explains how America seems to be stuck in a reinforcement feedback loop of income and wealth inequality that is both a product of and engine behind Republican control of the government. It is a well-supported, interesting article and is well worth reading in full, but for my purposes, can be summarized as explaining that the last few decades of largely Republican controlled economic policies have created an extreme level of income inequality that has created a less informed and less politically engaged electorate, which in turn favors Republican electoral goals. Essentially, the Republicans have used their control over the federal government to make the federal government ineffective in addressing inequality, which in turn allows them to campaign against the federal government as a solution for inequality in front of an electorate that, thanks to the aforementioned inequality, is less prepared to evaluate these problems and less likely to engage with the political process, both of which favor the perpetuation of this strategy on the part of the Republicans. While the reasons for this feedback loop are manifold and complex, it is, in part, a function of the limitations of our two-party system.

The Democratic and Republican parties have effective monopolies over, respectively, the liberal and conservative factions of the government, with the middle ground becoming more and more empty. And with these monopolies comes an increased focus on ideological consistency, particularly in the GOP, and a greater need to establish differences between the parties on most issues. The problem is that each party's ideology is unlikely to represent the beliefs of most voters on every single issue. Anything outside of either party's orthodoxy, even an idea that finds bipartisan support among the general electorate, necessarily becomes either a partisan cause—if it fits within one party's ideology—or an unsupported cause—if it doesn't fit within either party's ideology. Income and wealth inequality are problems that follow this first model in that they are a primary concern of a majority of Americans but are only identifiable as problems within the ideology of the Democratic party, essentially rendering a cause that should have broad support as a partisan cause that is subject to all of the problems and ineffectiveness of our polarized system of government.

For statistical evidence that a sizable portion of the populace is concerned about inequality, one could look at polls from the New York Times/CBS and Gallup. But for more anecdotal evidence that the issue is important to voters from both parties, one need look no further than the very different, insurgent populist campaigns of Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump. Indeed, inequality is the primary issue on which Sanders has centered his campaign and a significant source of his unexpected success and momentum—to the point that likely eventual nominee Hillary Clinton has had to (perhaps unconvincingly) focus on the issue, as well. On the other hand, Trump's success is a bit harder to tie to any one issue. But it is still worth noting that Trump has addressed the issue of inequality more directly than any other Republican candidate, stating that he would like to raise taxes on hedge fund managers4 and has no intention of reducing medicaid or social security—which amounts to as much of defection from GOP orthodoxy on the subject of inequality as could be imagined by a leading presidential candidate. The strangeness of Trump's behavior and his attendant popularity has led to a veritable cottage industry of articles in which a journalist speaks to Trump supporters in order to discover the reasons behind their support. While the supporters' responses run the gamut from relating to his racist, nationalistic rhetoric on immigration to his supposedly self-financed campaign's freedom from the influence of special interests to his general blustery demeanor, many Trump supporters point to his comparatively stronger focus on the issue of inequality relative to other Republicans. Indeed, the enthusiasm for Sanders and, to a lesser extent, Trump illustrates the extent to which inequality is an issue of importance to the public across the political spectrum. However, the fact that neither candidate seems likely to eventually win the presidency or even capture his party's nomination demonstrates how the two-party system prevents the government from truly addressing the problem of inequality.

Once the primaries are finished, the general election will pit establishment candidates against each other, with Hillary Clinton almost certainly facing off against either Jeb Bush or, more likely, Marco Rubio. While they have made some brief overtures toward the plight of the middle class, Rubio and Bush are extremely unlikely to be concerned with income and wealth inequality than Trump.5 And while Clinton is much more likely to campaign against inequality than her Republican opponents, her history and connections to wealthy Wall Street donors renders her a much less convincing crusader against inequality than Sanders. In a system that had more than two parties, Trump and Sanders6 would be able to participate as candidates outside of the Democratic and Republican parties and perhaps stand a chance to campaign to a general electorate with their comparatively great focuses on inequality.7 But in a two-party system, we will instead be presented with a choice between a Republican candidate who has no interest in the issue and a Democratic candidate who does not have as much interest as a large portion of the progressive segment of the electorate and perhaps even less than some voters who generally lean more conservative. Inequality becomes a comparatively weakened partisan issue instead of the generally popular cause that polls indicate it to be.

Ultimately, a political system that features more than two viable parties would be more likely to represent the vast and varied concerns of the public as a whole. And perhaps an issue that is concerning to a majority of Americans across the political spectrum such as income inequality would be more likely to be addressed by the government. But the entrenched power of the two parties—fueled in part by the campaign contributions of the wealthy elites who benefit from inequality—makes this an impossibility.8 While there are a number of potential means by which outside parties could gain traction, such as ranked choice voting or proportional representation, the likelihood of any being implemented is extremely low. Instead, we are stuck with a two-party system that encourages reinforcing feedback loops and ignores broadly supported issues like inequality.

Chris Alarie is Senior Editor-in-Chief of Uncanny Valley Magazine.



 Beware the Vast Equine Conspiracy.
2 And that the public devours.
3 This focus on the economy is a reflection of how many, perhaps even most, political issues in this country are folded into domestic economic debates.
4 Of course, the tax plan that he ultimately released does not follow through on that promise, illustrating just how significant the influence of orthodox conservative economic policy is.
5 Or any Democrat.
6 It is worth noting that lifelong political independent Sanders only recently joined the Democratic party in order to try to secure its presidential nomination.
7 I should note that Hillary Clinton, like nearly any progressive, is likely more concerned about inequality than Donald Trump.
8 Indeed, campaign finance reform is the elephant in the room on this issue, as it is in regards to much of American politics.